I <3 Trees.

Alright, I got a splitting headache, so I'll get right to the point. Yes, I do indeed love and envy trees. Think about it, remember when you were younger and wished you were something else to get out of going to school, homework, feeding Grandma etc. Well, if you were a tree, that would be no problem. There is a very simple equation to this. Grow some leaves + sun = food. All you do is eat, which is my favorite hobby . When winter rolls around, sleep through it (another favorite hobby). Fuck shoveling the snow or freezing your ass off at the bus stop. And another thing trees don't have to deal with: relationships. There would never be an awkward moment with a loved one or trying to get a prostitute down to 10 dollars for oral sex. Trees are asexual, or in idiot terms, it can fuck itself. So never having to do anything but eat and have sex with yourself, sleep through the winter, and live three-hundred years or more. When I die, I'm gonna ask God if I can come back as a tree....or a stop sign cuz those are super cool too.